New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
