And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
