please come you make the beer taste better
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
