I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I had to cum in my sink.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
