whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
This is classic penis vs brain.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize