he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
