I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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