The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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