One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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