Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
