This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
