I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
