You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
