he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
