Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems