apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
