seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
