So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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