i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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