my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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