I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
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I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
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Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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