i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
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