I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
