considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
