yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize