The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
