so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we're making bets on your personal life
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
