he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
