There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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