I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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