I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
