Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
