I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
