I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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