omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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