Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
