hell yes lets make some ravioli
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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