Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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