I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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