ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
