My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
