This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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