What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
