I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
