talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
