Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
