Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
