Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
