i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
