Soap is not a condiment
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
