No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
