We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
