Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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