oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
