Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
