i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
