i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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