I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
