ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
